Let it Go

I am going to use this post as a form of therapy for myself. I have a problem of putting too much pressure on myself; thus allowing myself to get stressed out. For the most part I am not naturally a spontaneous or fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal. I usually think things through, plan and try to be as prepared for most situations as possible. Having a child, defiantly makes you have to rethink how you have "always" done things and adjust. While, I do feel my planning skills and trying to be prepared has been very helpful, I am constantly learning that I will NEVER be prepared enough and just when I think "I've got it" we enter into a new phase and it is time to adjust once again. I place pressure upon myself to make sure Maddox grows into a strong, compassionate, kind, generous and intelligent man who fears the Lord. I place pressure upon myself to make sure he is disciplined when there needs to be discipline, loved when he needs love, nurtured when there needs to be nurturing, and left to figure things out on his own when possible. I stress that I am not good enough for him and I in some way will let him down as a mother. God is teaching me to let it go. HE is in control if I allow HIM to be and He will give me the wisdom, patience and ability to do all that needs to be done for Maddox. He will guide me and show me the way, if I step back and let HIM lead me. He will take my stress and give me rest, I simply have to let HIM. He is my joy and my strength. He gave us Maddox knowing exactly how Maddox's temperament would be and HE felt I was the mommy He needed on earth (wow, if that doesn't take your stress away, I'm not sure what will)
So as of February 9, 2009 at 9:44pm, I am officially letting it go, I am placing my stress, fears and self-doubts in God's hands. I am trusting He will show me the way to go.


Thank you for letting me vent and get my thoughts out!!

Exciting news....Mollie Michelle (my brother and sis-in-law's baby) is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow!!! I cannot wait to meet her and to watch Maddox with his new and very first cousin.

Boo news, Maddox gets his shots tomorrow...big BOO!!!

(sorry, blogger is not letting me add any pictures tonight...I will try tomorrow)