Thursday, September 29, 2011


I entered Maddox's room this morning to get him ready for his super fun field trip at school; however, when I bent down to kiss his little sleeping cheek, he was as hot as a fire cracker. BOO.  I checked his temperature and it was about 103.2. BOO. When he woke up, he coughed a loud, deep in his chest, barking type cough and when he tried to talk his voice was very strained. BOO. We made the quick executive decision that there would be no school and no field trip for Maddox and a visit to his primary care doctor was in order. BOO. He sounded horrible, felt horrible and his breathing was very labored. BOO.
It ends up the little man has croup. BOO. We have prescription steroids which will help the inflammation in his throat/vocal cords. The good thing is, while he sounds horrible and is contagious, non of his difficulty breathing is settled in his lungs. Hopefully the steroids will help, unfortunately, if they do not and he begins to get worse with further difficulty breathing, a trip to the ER will be in order for strong breathing treatments and monitoring. (Obviously, we are eagerly praying that he gets better not worse).
Poor little Maddox. You can just tell he feels awful and he has said a few times that "I feel horrible momma, just plain horrible" Oh, buddy, I am so sorry you feel so yucky!!!

While I hate that Maddox is feeling so badly, he sure is sweet and cuddly right now and I am soaking up every minute of it!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Maddox woke up from nap today with a fever and a very horse voice. Poor buddy. I took him to the doctor (thanks so much MOM for watching Paxton so I could just take Maddox) and he has an ear infection and allergies. Whew, we all thought he had Strep and are so thankful that he does not. He has his first field trip tomorrow at school and I was going to be so bummed if he couldn't go!!! He has been so so sweet this evening and was in a super good mood!!
This evening was fantastic. The boys were in great moods and we all had fun playing down in the basement! Paxton is doing sooooooo good this week. He seems to be feeling well and is playing and laughing and enjoying being a little boy!!

Ahhh. I am so thankful for this evening with my boys!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My Boys

Paxton had his appointment with the immunologist today and although it was a little traumatic (maybe more so for Brad and I), I would say the appointment went well. The trauma occurred when they had to do the allergy skin scratching test on Mr. Paxton. He started crying when they were simply writing the letters and numbers on his arms...then it was the fun part...the skin scratching with the various allergens to see if he had a reaction. Luckily, this guy is not allergic to any of the things they tested him for. Yippee. More trauma occurred when he was taken down to the lab for his blood work. Eight vile of blood later, he was finished. EEK. I am so thankful Brad was able to go to this appointment with me, there is only so much holding a super strong little boy down and watching him cry that this momma can do on her own.

The immunologist is not concerned with a fear that Paxton could have an immune deficiency. He says he just isn't showing any clinical signs of it at all. The doctor was pleased that we were referred to see him because one of his antibody levels is pretty low and needs to be looked at. The blood tests will tell us a lot and then they will remedy what needs to be fixed.

All children go through phases where their antibody levels drop. This usually occurs around 7 or 8 months of life then they begin to rise back up to the normal rage. Because we do not have a baseline of what Paxton's antibody levels have been in the past, it is hard to determine if his levels are increasing or if they have decreased recently. They will keep an eye on them.

We will go to the doctor next week to discuss a different game plan after receiving all the results from the tests ran today. We are eager for some answers, but we are super thankful because the past few days Paxton has seemed to feel MUCH better. We have even caught him smiling a few times!! YIPPEE

Now we are just working on the typical 17 month old behaviors and learning that no, we do not throw ourselves on the ground and throw a, it is not okay to hit your brother....and no, it is not okay to put everything you see on the ground in your mouth. 

Maddox is doing great in preschool this year. He really likes his teacher. He does not care for music class because it "takes too long" and "they don't let me play the guitar" He listens well and his teacher says she never has any problems with Maddox. He just seems happy to be there and enjoys all the fun activities. His only complain is that they have not taught him how to write his letters yet...hahahh!! Soon enough little man, soon enough

He did come home and show me how to sign for "hello" and the color "red". 
I love to watch him learn and hear about his day after school. Although, I usually hear more about his school day during random times. He does not like to answer a lot of questions right after school so I hear more and more throughout the week!!

Can you tell Maddox and Daddy got a new toy?? Yup, that would be a little-bitty dirt bike with training wheels on it!! Yup, that would be Brad's helmet that the little man is wearing (yes, it fits Maddox..hahah).

Maddox LOVES riding this dirt bike in the back yard and is getting really good at it. I love watching Brad run behind him and hearing Maddox giggle with glee as he rides and rides!! I am highly out numbered in my house of boys, but it sure is fun to watch these boys and their toys!!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Waving my White Baby Wipe

This week has been exhausting. Paxton feels like poo. Paxton's poo still has blood in it. Paxton is excessively whiney. Paxton likes to hit. I miss Paxton's smile and his contagious laugh. I have lost my temper with Maddox more times than I like to admit. I am on edge, which makes all of my boys on edge. I feel as though any minute I am going to totally break down. I can't make Paxton feel any better. He throws fits ALL day long. Paxton has an appointment with a immunologist this next week to run more tests to see why his antibody levels are low and see if his immune system in functioning properly. They will also test to see if his body is leaking protein.  He will have more blood drawn. We see his gastorinterologist the following week to discuss the blood tests that will be taken this next week. No one seems to know what is wrong with Paxton, my fear is that they will find something horribly wrong with him or they will find nothing at all and leave us clueless. I do not wish there to be any problems with Pax; however, this cannot be normal. They have to find us an answer. I am reaching my breaking point.

 One of my very favorite songs by Tenth Avenue North says:
"But YOU say let it go. You say life is waiting for the one to lose control. You say you will be, everything I need. You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul. You say let it go."
So, here I am, waving my white baby wipe. I surrender. Take control.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

My heart is Heavy

It has been a tough morning here in the Kalivoda house. Sheesh Paxton is a mess these days and I am beginning to wear down. I have tried to be understanding of the simple fact that he probably is not feeling well; however, there is a fine line in sympathy and allowing our 17 month old to run the show. It just breaks my heart at how unhappy he is practically ALL day long. He wakes up in a grumpy mood and it goes down hill from there. I just do not know what to do any more. Here, as I type this, I have tears welling up in my eyes because my spirit is gradually breaking and I am just at a loss. I want answers for why his tummy hurts constantly. I want to know how I can ease him into various situations without him being so scared. I want to guide him properly into doing what we need him to do without whining or throwing a fit.  I need him to start talking more (although, his signing has picked up tremendously). 
From the second we found out we were pregnant with either of our boys we prayed that they would be "happy" and "healthy" and unfortunately it seems Paxton is neither of those at the moment (and has been this way for several months now). My spirit is down. My heart is heavy and I am longing for answers and guidance.
Sorry to simply ramble. I needed to get my thought/emotions out. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Paxton is 17 Months Old

Paxton James, you are 17 months old today.

What are you up to these days?

Weight 24 pounds
Wearing size 12 or 18 month clothes
Size 4 diaper
You are getting faster and more efficient with your walking skills and you even walk with your hands down by your side more frequently (rather than up above your head).
You have a ton of teeth working their way in...almost have a mouth full of teeth
Obviously with all your stomach issues you are still not a big eater. Dinner time in the evenings is definitely the most stressful time of day for all of us.
Anything your big brother has, you want. Lots of arguing and battling over toys these days.
You currently prefer to whine rather than properly communicate. We are working on it, but for now the days can seem so LONG for you and for me. I know before long you will be talking non-stop, but right now the fit throwing is a constant battle.
You give the sweetest hugs.
Watching you and Maddox give hugs blesses my soul every night.
You love to be outside. You hate when we have to come inside.
You know what you want when you want it and not a second later
Although we haven't seen it very often lately, your smile lights up any room you enter and your laugh is still so contagious.
You are loved. You are precious. You are adored. You are a child of the Lord!!

Oh Paxton we love you so very much. I am so sorry this has been such a rough month for you and I promise I am doing everything with in my power to find some answers and to help you feel better quickly.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Paxton did Great

Paxton had his colonoscopy and EGD this morning. Let me first say that Paxton is a champ. He was amazing yesterday while he could not have anything to eat and had a ton of laxatives. He enjoyed all the one on one time with momma. The only part that concerns me at this point is why Paxton was not aggravated at his lack of food intake. It really goes to show how much food bothers his tummy.
This  you could tell he was irritated, tired and hungry, but he was amazing. The procedure went well. The doctor said everything looked good to his eye; however, he took several biopsy of his intestinal lining and will send them off to pathology. They also took more blood and pancreatic enzymes to send to a lab in California to see if we can get some answers. The doctor did mention that there was a small concern with one of Paxton's antibody levels, so he retested it and will let us know what is going on.
I am so thankful that Paxton did so well today and woke from anesthesia with little difficulty or freaking out from little P.
Thank you all for your prayers. Please continue to pray for answers on why little P does not feel well!!

Sweet little P playing outside last weekend as we celebrated PaPa's Birthday!!!

Silly boy....face covered in cake and giving us his "cheese" face!!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Preparing Paxton

Today is the BIG day...the day sweet Paxton cannot have anything to eat and has to have a lot of laxatives to prepare his system for the colonoscopy that will be preformed tomorrow. It is currently 12:08pm and so far Paxton has been a champ. The laxatives are in full effect and I need 3 diapers on him at a time to contain the mess, but other than that he has been so good this morning. I have to give a huge thank you to my mom for graciously volunteering to take Maddox for today and tomorrow so I could give Paxton my undivided attention (and Maddox could have some fun with gigi and papa). Thanks so much mom for taking such good care of Madd and helping me take care of Paxton!!!

I am not sure what this afternoon or evening will hold for us, but for now, I am enjoying this one on one time with my littlest man!!!


Maddox has said some of the sweetest and funniest things this week. I wanted to document them so I would never forget his sweet spirit.

While driving home one evening we were admiring the beautiful sunset. Maddox said, "Oh mommy, it is beautiful. Just like YOU are beautiful. But, I just wish YOU had some purple on ya too. I like purple."
(oh just melt my heart)

While getting the carpets cleaned at the old house, we were sitting and reading books. Maddox leaned over and hugged me tight and said "Momma, you're my very best friend"
(Now, I don't strive to be Maddox's "Friend" I am first and formost his momma, his guider, his protector and the one to help him grow to be the MAN the Lord created him to be; however, hearing from his tiny voice that I was his very best friend made my heart fill up with joy.)

While playing in his room one day Maddox quickly informed me that he no longer likes super heros. He said "I don't like super-heros. Super heros use special powers. I like Batman. Batman uses TOOLS!"

While driving to let Maddox spend the night with Gigi and Papa for a few days (while we prep Paxton for his colonoscopy), Maddox carried on a sweet conversation with Paxton. He had a few little tears in his eyes and said "I wish my brother could stay the night with me. I will miss him" (Now, it didn't take long for Maddox to realize he would have ALL the attention with his grandparents, but it sure was a sweet moment for this momma).

The age of 3 has definitely had its challenges and battles of the wills, but I love these sweet sweet moments with my biggest little guy!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Please Pray for Paxton

I mentioned in the previous post that Paxton is having some tummy issues. They took several vials of blood last week to test for various causes of his digestive issues and bloody stools; however, all the blood tests came back negative. While overall this is a good thing because it does not lead us towards Celiac Disease (gluten allergy), cystic fibrosis and pancreatic deficiencies. They are certain that he has a malabsorption issue where his body is not absorbing the nutrients in food properly (could explain his lack of desire to eat ANYTHING).
So, where do we go from here? Friday morning he is scheduled for a colonoscopy and an EGD (Esophagogastroduodenoscopy (EGD) is an examination of the lining of the esophagus, stomach, and upper duodenum). I am praying for answers and relief for Paxton. It has been such a hard few weeks. He is super fussy, irritable and we rarely see his sweet smile or hear his amazing laugh. I am praying for easy and quick solutions. I am also praying for peace, patience and guidance as we prepare a 16 month old for a colonoscopy. The prep for this test will be pretty tough on a little one. Nothing more than clear liquids all day Thursday accompanied with myralax should make for one grumpy little guy all day. Poor thing.
While I realize in the scheme of things, this test is nothing major and should be relatively easy, my heart is heavy and my anxiety levels are high. He will have general anesthesia (he will be completely asleep) and I was told I could hold him until he is asleep and I will be holding him when he wakes up. I am thankful for that. At least he won't know that I had to leave him for a little while.
Please pray for Paxton and the doctors. Please pray for guidance and easy solutions.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


 Please keep our littlest man, Paxton in your prayers, he has been SO fussy lately and is obviously not feeling up to par. He had some blood drawn today to see if they can figure out what is going on in his little tummy. I will post more news as we know more, but for now we wait on results and pray he can find relief.

Although I can tell he is not feeling great, he continues to keep us entertained with his silly silly faces, sweet hugs and constant movement!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Fun Evening with Daddy

Just a fun evening with daddy! Tonight the boys played and played and played some more! 

They wrestled

They fixed stuff

They flipped

They giggled

And wrestled some more!

Maddox Jumped over daddy

And they danced around the living room!

Brad scared the crud out of Maddox

And read sweet stories to Paxton

Aww just another day in the Kalivoda house!! Have I mentioned lately how much I love my amazing husband. It is evenings like these that remind me just how amazing my sweet husband is!!!

Maddox's First Day of Preschool

Today, Maddox started his first day of 3 year old Preschool!! He did GREAT and seemed to have a good time. I can't get him to talk much about his day (crazy, since this kid normally talks non-stop...but he never really talks about what he does at "school"). Here are a few pictures we took of the big guy this morning!!!