Thankful

Maddox woke up from nap today with a fever and a very horse voice. Poor buddy. I took him to the doctor (thanks so much MOM for watching Paxton so I could just take Maddox) and he has an ear infection and allergies. Whew, we all thought he had Strep and are so thankful that he does not. He has his first field trip tomorrow at school and I was going to be so bummed if he couldn't go!!! He has been so so sweet this evening and was in a super good mood!!

This evening was fantastic. The boys were in great moods and we all had fun playing down in the basement! Paxton is doing sooooooo good this week. He seems to be feeling well and is playing and laughing and enjoying being a little boy!!

Ahhh. I am so thankful for this evening with my boys!!

My Boys

Paxton had his appointment with the immunologist today and although it was a little traumatic (maybe more so for Brad and I), I would say the appointment went well. The trauma occurred when they had to do the allergy skin scratching test on Mr. Paxton. He started crying when they were simply writing the letters and numbers on his arms...then it was the fun part...the skin scratching with the various allergens to see if he had a reaction. Luckily, this guy is not allergic to any of the things they tested him for. Yippee. More trauma occurred when he was taken down to the lab for his blood work. Eight vile of blood later, he was finished. EEK. I am so thankful Brad was able to go to this appointment with me, there is only so much holding a super strong little boy down and watching him cry that this momma can do on her own.

The immunologist is not concerned with a fear that Paxton could have an immune deficiency. He says he just isn't showing any clinical signs of it at all. The doctor was pleased that we were referred to see him because one of his antibody levels is pretty low and needs to be looked at. The blood tests will tell us a lot and then they will remedy what needs to be fixed.

All children go through phases where their antibody levels drop. This usually occurs around 7 or 8 months of life then they begin to rise back up to the normal rage. Because we do not have a baseline of what Paxton's antibody levels have been in the past, it is hard to determine if his levels are increasing or if they have decreased recently. They will keep an eye on them.

We will go to the doctor next week to discuss a different game plan after receiving all the results from the tests ran today. We are eager for some answers, but we are super thankful because the past few days Paxton has seemed to feel MUCH better. We have even caught him smiling a few times!! YIPPEE

Now we are just working on the typical 17 month old behaviors and learning that no, we do not throw ourselves on the ground and throw a fit....no, it is not okay to hit your brother....and no, it is not okay to put everything you see on the ground in your mouth. 

Maddox is doing great in preschool this year. He really likes his teacher. He does not care for music class because it "takes too long" and "they don't let me play the guitar" He listens well and his teacher says she never has any problems with Maddox. He just seems happy to be there and enjoys all the fun activities. His only complain is that they have not taught him how to write his letters yet...hahahh!! Soon enough little man, soon enough

He did come home and show me how to sign for "hello" and the color "red". 

I love to watch him learn and hear about his day after school. Although, I usually hear more about his school day during random times. He does not like to answer a lot of questions right after school so I hear more and more throughout the week!!

Can you tell Maddox and Daddy got a new toy?? Yup, that would be a little-bitty dirt bike with training wheels on it!! Yup, that would be Brad's helmet that the little man is wearing (yes, it fits Maddox..hahah).

Maddox LOVES riding this dirt bike in the back yard and is getting really good at it. I love watching Brad run behind him and hearing Maddox giggle with glee as he rides and rides!! I am highly out numbered in my house of boys, but it sure is fun to watch these boys and their toys!!

Waving my White Baby Wipe

This week has been exhausting. Paxton feels like poo. Paxton's poo still has blood in it. Paxton is excessively whiney. Paxton likes to hit. I miss Paxton's smile and his contagious laugh. I have lost my temper with Maddox more times than I like to admit. I am on edge, which makes all of my boys on edge. I feel as though any minute I am going to totally break down. I can't make Paxton feel any better. He throws fits ALL day long. Paxton has an appointment with a immunologist this next week to run more tests to see why his antibody levels are low and see if his immune system in functioning properly. They will also test to see if his body is leaking protein.  He will have more blood drawn. We see his gastorinterologist the following week to discuss the blood tests that will be taken this next week. No one seems to know what is wrong with Paxton, my fear is that they will find something horribly wrong with him or they will find nothing at all and leave us clueless. I do not wish there to be any problems with Pax; however, this cannot be normal. They have to find us an answer. I am reaching my breaking point.

 One of my very favorite songs by Tenth Avenue North says:
"But YOU say let it go. You say life is waiting for the one to lose control. You say you will be, everything I need. You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul. You say let it go."
So, here I am, waving my white baby wipe. I surrender. Take control.

My heart is Heavy

It has been a tough morning here in the Kalivoda house. Sheesh Paxton is a mess these days and I am beginning to wear down. I have tried to be understanding of the simple fact that he probably is not feeling well; however, there is a fine line in sympathy and allowing our 17 month old to run the show. It just breaks my heart at how unhappy he is practically ALL day long. He wakes up in a grumpy mood and it goes down hill from there. I just do not know what to do any more. Here, as I type this, I have tears welling up in my eyes because my spirit is gradually breaking and I am just at a loss. I want answers for why his tummy hurts constantly. I want to know how I can ease him into various situations without him being so scared. I want to guide him properly into doing what we need him to do without whining or throwing a fit.  I need him to start talking more (although, his signing has picked up tremendously). 

From the second we found out we were pregnant with either of our boys we prayed that they would be "happy" and "healthy" and unfortunately it seems Paxton is neither of those at the moment (and has been this way for several months now). My spirit is down. My heart is heavy and I am longing for answers and guidance.

Sorry to simply ramble. I needed to get my thought/emotions out. 

Paxton is 17 Months Old

Paxton James, you are 17 months old today.

What are you up to these days?

Weight 24 pounds
Wearing size 12 or 18 month clothes
Size 4 diaper
You are getting faster and more efficient with your walking skills and you even walk with your hands down by your side more frequently (rather than up above your head).
You have a ton of teeth working their way in...almost have a mouth full of teeth
Obviously with all your stomach issues you are still not a big eater. Dinner time in the evenings is definitely the most stressful time of day for all of us.
Anything your big brother has, you want. Lots of arguing and battling over toys these days.
You currently prefer to whine rather than properly communicate. We are working on it, but for now the days can seem so LONG for you and for me. I know before long you will be talking non-stop, but right now the fit throwing is a constant battle.
You give the sweetest hugs.
Watching you and Maddox give hugs blesses my soul every night.
You love to be outside. You hate when we have to come inside.
You know what you want when you want it and not a second later
Although we haven't seen it very often lately, your smile lights up any room you enter and your laugh is still so contagious.
You are loved. You are precious. You are adored. You are a child of the Lord!!

Oh Paxton we love you so very much. I am so sorry this has been such a rough month for you and I promise I am doing everything with in my power to find some answers and to help you feel better quickly.

Paxton did Great

Paxton had his colonoscopy and EGD this morning. Let me first say that Paxton is a champ. He was amazing yesterday while he could not have anything to eat and had a ton of laxatives. He enjoyed all the one on one time with momma. The only part that concerns me at this point is why Paxton was not aggravated at his lack of food intake. It really goes to show how much food bothers his tummy.

This  you could tell he was irritated, tired and hungry, but he was amazing. The procedure went well. The doctor said everything looked good to his eye; however, he took several biopsy of his intestinal lining and will send them off to pathology. They also took more blood and pancreatic enzymes to send to a lab in California to see if we can get some answers. The doctor did mention that there was a small concern with one of Paxton's antibody levels, so he retested it and will let us know what is going on.

I am so thankful that Paxton did so well today and woke from anesthesia with little difficulty or freaking out from little P.

Thank you all for your prayers. Please continue to pray for answers on why little P does not feel well!!

Sweet little P playing outside last weekend as we celebrated PaPa's Birthday!!!

Silly boy....face covered in cake and giving us his "cheese" face!!!

Preparing Paxton

Today is the BIG day...the day sweet Paxton cannot have anything to eat and has to have a lot of laxatives to prepare his system for the colonoscopy that will be preformed tomorrow. It is currently 12:08pm and so far Paxton has been a champ. The laxatives are in full effect and I need 3 diapers on him at a time to contain the mess, but other than that he has been so good this morning. I have to give a huge thank you to my mom for graciously volunteering to take Maddox for today and tomorrow so I could give Paxton my undivided attention (and Maddox could have some fun with gigi and papa). Thanks so much mom for taking such good care of Madd and helping me take care of Paxton!!!

I am not sure what this afternoon or evening will hold for us, but for now, I am enjoying this one on one time with my littlest man!!!